i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
