what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
