I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
