omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
