That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
