I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
