Swine flu. Run for my life!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it's like iHOP with fire
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
