party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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