You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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