Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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