i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
