Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
