I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
