i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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