his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Pooping to opera.
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