what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
