Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
