you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
