Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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