Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
