i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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