This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
