Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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