I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My dick has a subreddit
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
