She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
