thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he puts the penis in happiness.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
