if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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