Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
