The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
