Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
