Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
