Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
too bad you live with your parents still
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
