Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?

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(248): View more from Michigan

I want 2 things right now, you or a cig

(810): View more from Michigan

cig

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(773): View more from Illinois

My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it

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(250): View more from British Columbia

This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this

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(913): View more from Kansas

I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins

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(561): View more from Florida

They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck

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(212): View more from New York

You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore

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