I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
