his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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