He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
