I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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