Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
