I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
