U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
