if i can run in heels then i can drive
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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