You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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