i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm bleeding and have questions
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
