When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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