at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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