He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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