How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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