Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
