Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
