so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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