I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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